Are you in Good Company?

They say you can tell a person by the company she keeps. Well if thats the case then which one of my ‘friends’ did u see me with cause I’ve got a lot of different people who I hang out with, go to uni with, go to parties with, and have loads of pictures with but they aren’t my true friend. I can honestly say right now I have three true friends out of about 20 associates. Sometimes you need to take a step back and really look at someone to see if this is the person I want to walk by my side. I mean we as women have this inbuilt sense in yourself to criticise partners and see if their personality, their goals, their dreams are of the same nature of ours and if they are not then are they worth the risk. But when it comes to friends we either take what we get or make something work for us, like we go to that lecture where we don’t know anyone and we notice that girl that we’ve always seen but never said hey to cause she’s just way to loud, but because you don’t want to sit alone all day you say 'hey' make small talk and ignore the fact she’s ready 2 make a loud scene.

We put up with people we don’t like for all the wrong reasons cause come 4 months later and u have 2 sit next to that annoying girl who you now text everyday and have hung out with loads of times, and you wish deep in your heart you had never said hey cause now you know you’d rather be alone than with her.

Our friendships not only tell a lot about who we are -- they make us who we are.

So I’m taking a step back to re-evaluate these so called friends I have around me because the reality of it is that those faults that I see in them are the same traits people will associate with me. If that is your friend then she’s a reflection of some part of you, you don’t see a racist walking around with a quarter black, quarter Asian, quarter Hispanic and quarter Jewish person cause that’s not what they are about. I mean honestly to get on with someone you have to at least have some common ground!

Anyway I’m not finished on this topic but I thought I’d just throw that out there. sometimes you need to really at someone to know that you need to run away so they'll never take u down!

When Things Go Sour

It’s been a while but I’m back with a vengeance. I have learnt some hard felt lessons in the last year and I have also had to face some truths about myself. I feel that the hole that I have been digging myself in has hit the core and it’s about time I start climbing out. I’m going to use the blogs to talk about friendships, lovers, money, sex, identity and growth.

So today is a new start.

This type of love

This next clip really made me laugh and think about how sometimes you feel soo in love with someone....





Thank you Darren for this type of love....

Have You Ever

Have you ever wanted to dry a tear that you knew you’d made fall?

Have you ever something that you never meant at all?

Have you ever wanted to reach out to someone who was in pain?

Have you ever wanted to give sunshine to someone who lives in rain?

Have you ever wanted a chance to go back and change the past?

Have you ever stopped to realise that time slopes by to fast?

Have you ever loved somebody and never told them so?

Have you ever held back a question that you wanted to know?

Have you ever felt you might explode from holding stuff inside?

Thats when you have to make a choice between happiness and pride.

I decided i would tell the truth to share all that I feel.

My heart feels soo much bigger and truth was the better deal!

Art of Seduction

I want to take some time to discuss a little issue on awkward social situations where you know someone who you’ve met before is interested in you but are trying to avoid. Because I can see you, you know. I can see you staring at me from across the party, pretending that you’re not. Pretending that you don’t even notice I’m here. I know that you have me well within the limits of your periph, keeping the ever-watchful eye on me no matter what you do. I can tell what you’re thinking, you want me— NAY, you need me. I watch as you pretend to survey the room when in actuality you’re just using that as an excuse to glance at me, even for just a moment. I know what you’re doing. You, my man, are eye fucking the shit out of me!.

I’m on to you, oh yes, yes I am. I noticed how you wore that blue shirt tonight, knowing full well that my favourite colour is blue. Oh, these subtle mind games that you play. You are one sly man, indeed. I’m hip to your plan, big man. You know that I’ve been drinking for a while now, just like I know how you’re waiting until I’m drunk enough to make some bad decisions before you make your move. Naughty.

I’ll play your game, you sly man. I’ll deftly brush up against you as I pass you in the hallway. Is it wide enough to pass through without rubbing up against you? Sure, I guess there probably is enough room, but that isn’t what you’d want me to do. I can tell. It’s all just part of your cat and mouse game. Like when you were dancing earlier. You think I didn’t realize you chose to start dancing to my favourite song? It was so sweet of you. There were dozens of other songs you could’ve started dancing to “I Wanna Love You”. Sure, you played it off as if you and your friends just decided to be goofy and start dancing, as if it were a spur of the moment decision. But I know full well that you must’ve pulled them aside earlier in the night and explained to them your scheme. All just to get my attention.

Then, of course, you slyly waited until I was looking right at you to start flirting with that girl who’s on the ACS. You didn’t think I would realize that you were doing that just to make me jealous? Of course I knew that’s what you were doing. It was pretty convenient that you happened to not look at me eh? You did all you could do to stop yourself from staring straight at me and blowing your cover. I’m pretty impressed by your dedication, though; if I didn’t know better I almost would’ve believed you guys were really into it. I wonder how you got her to go along with your plan. I hope you didn’t have to pay her, not for little ol’ me. You know, it’s the attention to detail that I admire most. The average person wouldn’t think to actually have exchanged numbers, but you aren’t the average person, are you? You made sure you got every detail right in our little game of seduction.

Hell, you went as far as to take her into one of the upstairs bedrooms. HA. I can picture it now, the two of you sitting on the bed just twiddling your thumbs, feigning a moan of passion whenever you figured I might happen to walk by. You showed extraordinary commitment, spending an entire 45 minutes up there. Then you displayed just how clever you were, thinking of everything from messing up your hair to having a different shirt on. I almost couldn’t hold back the laughter. If only you knew I was on to you the entire time. You could’ve saved yourself so much trouble.

I expect for you to make your move any minute now since it is getting kind of late and the party is starting to thin out. Everything so far has gone exactly how you must’ve planned, and now is the time for the lion to go after his prey. I see that you have your coat now; you must be getting ready to see if you can go home with me. Oh, this is rich; you’re pretending that you are leaving. Oh my dear, when will these games end? I know that any second you’ll come back in, ready to make your intentions clear to me. Any second now. Oh, you are good.

lol I’m sorry but i had to post this blog because sometimes we think someone is interested in us when they aren’t and we let that lil voice in our head convince us that everything they do is about us! But this isn’t the case sometimes we spend too much time waiting for them to give into temptation and make a move then we let them slip away so ladies be real and make the move if he’s worth it....

False Beauty

Please watch this because it is more than enough evidence that the definition of beauty today is very distorted!... How can this be an ideal beauty when it is not real... the model herself does not even look like the end product so how can we aspire to it!!!

BFF

I know this may sound silly but I didn't like people so much in my past. I loved T.V and books way more instead. At least my shows and books were honest, readily available and never intentionally sought to hurt me like some bitches who called themselves friends.... guess you could say I was bitter... It took me a long time to realize that I used my books and shows as a replacement for the people I wanted to avoid. I mean I would rather sit at home alone reading or watching TV instead cause I was safe and was always guaranteed a good time because overall, I was scared of being hurt, afraid of rejection and of not being loved in return. I mean it’s so easy to love someone but you have no guarantee something in return.... this was a risk I wasn’t going to take!... but that was like a week ago.... ok it was a long time ago and these days, I LOVE people. I learned to love through friendship.

I would like to take a moment of your time and share something I learned about friendship a while ago. I now know who my best friend is because she is someone who cannot imagine life without... I know that sounds corny and dried up but there are many people who enter our lives and never leave despite all the trials and struggles..... She is someone who I can call in the middle of the night and say I killed someone and she will ask ‘Where can we hide the body!’... This may sound funny but the truth of the matter she is my friend because she is there for her when I need her and willing to lie to the police for me... I mean if that’s not love then what is!... whether it’s just someone to let steam out on or someone to laugh with when the tears have dried... I mean it dawned on me the other day that I have already made future plans that include her!... and the funny thing is I haven’t even asked her.... yet... I just assumed she would because I love her soo much.... I know she will be my maid of honour when I get married because she would pick the sexiest stripper for my bachelorette party!!... my kids will call her Aunty Charlene even though I know she’s gonna think they are spoilt ignorant kids lol.... it never occurred to me that our friendship won’t last cause I truly love her and wouldn’t let her go without a fight cause we are bitches of terror (personal joke lol)!!!

I know at times, we both realize that it is not easy for either of us to give and receive love but what can we do... that's life! But the love I feel from her and give back in return is unconditional.... when she gets hurt I take it personally and when she does well I’m at the party drinking like I’m the one doing well! But I’ve learnt that in friendships our flaws are taken not of... i say this because sometimes we may annoy the hell out of each other but we don’t let the other person know...For example, we will not question, discuss or challenge certain issues - we'll push them 'under the carpet' like the fact I know she hates it when I start doing something when talking to her because I’m not paying full attention but she doesn’t say anything soo I carry on :)... I guess something’s aren’t worth mentioning because they may cause more harm than good but because I know her so well i pick up on this frustration and I do try pay attention cause i don’t want her to be mad at me..... and in all honesty i know she will kick my ass!

and sometimes we all tend to withhold certain important information from each other, not cause we don’t want the other to know, we just don’t talk about it. As a result of these withholds, one of us becomes blind to the views and opinions of the other, I mean I really thought we both decided Beyonce was a slut but I didn’t know she was Beyonce’s biggest fan!. But there are some wonderful factors that make our relationships work like Respect, Care and Compassion. Respect means, no matter what state or place I am in and what state or place she is in - I respect myself and I respect her! To care is to see what she needs and being willing to give it wether its advice or a non judgemental shoulder to cry on.

I guess what I have realised is that Friends are people who know everythinag about but still love you anyway!

And I do love you Charlene and can’t wait to see what life has in store for us