This type of love

This next clip really made me laugh and think about how sometimes you feel soo in love with someone....





Thank you Darren for this type of love....

Have You Ever

Have you ever wanted to dry a tear that you knew you’d made fall?

Have you ever something that you never meant at all?

Have you ever wanted to reach out to someone who was in pain?

Have you ever wanted to give sunshine to someone who lives in rain?

Have you ever wanted a chance to go back and change the past?

Have you ever stopped to realise that time slopes by to fast?

Have you ever loved somebody and never told them so?

Have you ever held back a question that you wanted to know?

Have you ever felt you might explode from holding stuff inside?

Thats when you have to make a choice between happiness and pride.

I decided i would tell the truth to share all that I feel.

My heart feels soo much bigger and truth was the better deal!

Art of Seduction

I want to take some time to discuss a little issue on awkward social situations where you know someone who you’ve met before is interested in you but are trying to avoid. Because I can see you, you know. I can see you staring at me from across the party, pretending that you’re not. Pretending that you don’t even notice I’m here. I know that you have me well within the limits of your periph, keeping the ever-watchful eye on me no matter what you do. I can tell what you’re thinking, you want me— NAY, you need me. I watch as you pretend to survey the room when in actuality you’re just using that as an excuse to glance at me, even for just a moment. I know what you’re doing. You, my man, are eye fucking the shit out of me!.

I’m on to you, oh yes, yes I am. I noticed how you wore that blue shirt tonight, knowing full well that my favourite colour is blue. Oh, these subtle mind games that you play. You are one sly man, indeed. I’m hip to your plan, big man. You know that I’ve been drinking for a while now, just like I know how you’re waiting until I’m drunk enough to make some bad decisions before you make your move. Naughty.

I’ll play your game, you sly man. I’ll deftly brush up against you as I pass you in the hallway. Is it wide enough to pass through without rubbing up against you? Sure, I guess there probably is enough room, but that isn’t what you’d want me to do. I can tell. It’s all just part of your cat and mouse game. Like when you were dancing earlier. You think I didn’t realize you chose to start dancing to my favourite song? It was so sweet of you. There were dozens of other songs you could’ve started dancing to “I Wanna Love You”. Sure, you played it off as if you and your friends just decided to be goofy and start dancing, as if it were a spur of the moment decision. But I know full well that you must’ve pulled them aside earlier in the night and explained to them your scheme. All just to get my attention.

Then, of course, you slyly waited until I was looking right at you to start flirting with that girl who’s on the ACS. You didn’t think I would realize that you were doing that just to make me jealous? Of course I knew that’s what you were doing. It was pretty convenient that you happened to not look at me eh? You did all you could do to stop yourself from staring straight at me and blowing your cover. I’m pretty impressed by your dedication, though; if I didn’t know better I almost would’ve believed you guys were really into it. I wonder how you got her to go along with your plan. I hope you didn’t have to pay her, not for little ol’ me. You know, it’s the attention to detail that I admire most. The average person wouldn’t think to actually have exchanged numbers, but you aren’t the average person, are you? You made sure you got every detail right in our little game of seduction.

Hell, you went as far as to take her into one of the upstairs bedrooms. HA. I can picture it now, the two of you sitting on the bed just twiddling your thumbs, feigning a moan of passion whenever you figured I might happen to walk by. You showed extraordinary commitment, spending an entire 45 minutes up there. Then you displayed just how clever you were, thinking of everything from messing up your hair to having a different shirt on. I almost couldn’t hold back the laughter. If only you knew I was on to you the entire time. You could’ve saved yourself so much trouble.

I expect for you to make your move any minute now since it is getting kind of late and the party is starting to thin out. Everything so far has gone exactly how you must’ve planned, and now is the time for the lion to go after his prey. I see that you have your coat now; you must be getting ready to see if you can go home with me. Oh, this is rich; you’re pretending that you are leaving. Oh my dear, when will these games end? I know that any second you’ll come back in, ready to make your intentions clear to me. Any second now. Oh, you are good.

lol I’m sorry but i had to post this blog because sometimes we think someone is interested in us when they aren’t and we let that lil voice in our head convince us that everything they do is about us! But this isn’t the case sometimes we spend too much time waiting for them to give into temptation and make a move then we let them slip away so ladies be real and make the move if he’s worth it....

False Beauty

Please watch this because it is more than enough evidence that the definition of beauty today is very distorted!... How can this be an ideal beauty when it is not real... the model herself does not even look like the end product so how can we aspire to it!!!

BFF

I know this may sound silly but I didn't like people so much in my past. I loved T.V and books way more instead. At least my shows and books were honest, readily available and never intentionally sought to hurt me like some bitches who called themselves friends.... guess you could say I was bitter... It took me a long time to realize that I used my books and shows as a replacement for the people I wanted to avoid. I mean I would rather sit at home alone reading or watching TV instead cause I was safe and was always guaranteed a good time because overall, I was scared of being hurt, afraid of rejection and of not being loved in return. I mean it’s so easy to love someone but you have no guarantee something in return.... this was a risk I wasn’t going to take!... but that was like a week ago.... ok it was a long time ago and these days, I LOVE people. I learned to love through friendship.

I would like to take a moment of your time and share something I learned about friendship a while ago. I now know who my best friend is because she is someone who cannot imagine life without... I know that sounds corny and dried up but there are many people who enter our lives and never leave despite all the trials and struggles..... She is someone who I can call in the middle of the night and say I killed someone and she will ask ‘Where can we hide the body!’... This may sound funny but the truth of the matter she is my friend because she is there for her when I need her and willing to lie to the police for me... I mean if that’s not love then what is!... whether it’s just someone to let steam out on or someone to laugh with when the tears have dried... I mean it dawned on me the other day that I have already made future plans that include her!... and the funny thing is I haven’t even asked her.... yet... I just assumed she would because I love her soo much.... I know she will be my maid of honour when I get married because she would pick the sexiest stripper for my bachelorette party!!... my kids will call her Aunty Charlene even though I know she’s gonna think they are spoilt ignorant kids lol.... it never occurred to me that our friendship won’t last cause I truly love her and wouldn’t let her go without a fight cause we are bitches of terror (personal joke lol)!!!

I know at times, we both realize that it is not easy for either of us to give and receive love but what can we do... that's life! But the love I feel from her and give back in return is unconditional.... when she gets hurt I take it personally and when she does well I’m at the party drinking like I’m the one doing well! But I’ve learnt that in friendships our flaws are taken not of... i say this because sometimes we may annoy the hell out of each other but we don’t let the other person know...For example, we will not question, discuss or challenge certain issues - we'll push them 'under the carpet' like the fact I know she hates it when I start doing something when talking to her because I’m not paying full attention but she doesn’t say anything soo I carry on :)... I guess something’s aren’t worth mentioning because they may cause more harm than good but because I know her so well i pick up on this frustration and I do try pay attention cause i don’t want her to be mad at me..... and in all honesty i know she will kick my ass!

and sometimes we all tend to withhold certain important information from each other, not cause we don’t want the other to know, we just don’t talk about it. As a result of these withholds, one of us becomes blind to the views and opinions of the other, I mean I really thought we both decided Beyonce was a slut but I didn’t know she was Beyonce’s biggest fan!. But there are some wonderful factors that make our relationships work like Respect, Care and Compassion. Respect means, no matter what state or place I am in and what state or place she is in - I respect myself and I respect her! To care is to see what she needs and being willing to give it wether its advice or a non judgemental shoulder to cry on.

I guess what I have realised is that Friends are people who know everythinag about but still love you anyway!

And I do love you Charlene and can’t wait to see what life has in store for us

India.Arie Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship

So I thought I’d make my next blog about one of my all time favourite albums which is India.Arie Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship. This album helped me make a lot of realisations about my past relationships and after looking back and scrutinizing each decision I ever made able to see that in relationships Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go... and Lord knows I sure have given up on a lot of men over the past 2 yrs.... the first song on India’s Album is Intro:Loving and this song contains India singing and reciting a prayer asking ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change’ she also asks for courage and wisdom which are all essential ingredients in the recipe of love. This opening is very important in her album which flows soo softly... Ms.Arie adds a little something to her tracks with anecdotes from her love life. On the track “These Eyes”, Ms.Arie describes the hardships of having to walk away from love despite the truth she knows about the relationship... ‘These eyes never saw you leaving, This heart is in need of some healing, These arms are letting you go’ and I’m sure this is a feeling we have all encountered in relationships, where we’ve been left out in the rain thinking ‘what the hell just happened’... but one song on this album that captures the issues I face after ended relationships is ‘The Heart of the Matter’ which says ‘I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear, But I knew that it would come, An old true friend of ours was talking' on the phone, She said you found someone’... knowing that an ex has moved on before I have, really cuts me deep... I mean why why oh lord... I left him therefore he shall have no1 till I see it fit!.. it really makes me question the decision I made... if he was really as bad as I thought he was then why is some whore taking him on as her 100th partner! Ms.Arie however has a song that helps people like me overcome this obstacle as she entails on the track “Good Morning” singing “Good morning independence or is it loneliness? I know I said I wanted this but I have regrets.” The song is one of my favourite songs on the album as it is glaringly plucked from her personal life, it even features the scribbling of a pencil at the beginning of the track, which makes me the listener feel as if we were sitting in on a diary entry. She really has a way of making u feel that you’re not alone when it comes to heart ache and pain and that all the mixed emotions that sometimes drown us when bad things happen are completely normal and that they may not pass but we can learn to deal with them. And she helps us the listeners more in the song ‘Wings of Forgiveness’ where she puts a little perspective on forgiveness ‘If Nelson Mandela can forgive his oppressors surely I can forgive you for your passion, you’re only human’.. this song aroused my interest as she speaks of passion... at first I thought this she was talking about sexual passion where someone cheats but then I thought it may be passion as in him constantly arguing or passion as in putting his work before her... this song I guess is one that u can apply to suit your situation.But by the end of the album you will surely be overwhelmed by Ms.Arie’s honesty, both musically and personally. And like her previous album Testimony is for those who seek a motivational guide for living a conflict-free life. I feel that in Ms.Aries mind, life is about people expressing compassion for one another and resolving petty conflicts in order to gain self-love.

But all in all this album make me realise that ‘Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.’

Define Your Beauty

Well today I was listening to this Common joint with Jaime Foxx and Common has this part where he says ‘Baby being beautiful is a state of mind’.... this really made me stop and think this is so true. I mean we all have at one time encountered a scenario where you have woken up got dressed looked in the mirror and thought to yourself 'Wow I look good' but then when we saw that friends/sister/co-worker, they looked at you and said “you look a state”. That really knocked my confidence and self esteem I say this cause this scenario was my reality... I thought to myself girl, it is time that you learn to love yourself....completely because not everyone will... I mean if you think about the amount of people who think they are beautiful but are not deemed as being beautiful in society you wouldn’t know where to begin cause ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. Think of all the supermodels that grace our adverts, catwalks and magazines that society deems as being beautiful but sometimes we stop and think to ourselves and think Kate Moss is ok looking! It make me realise that who am I to stop and say some1 is not beautiful just because they don’t fit my personal ideal of beauty... we need to define our beauty cause for too long I feel I’ve been living and waiting to be pretty but at no point have I ever fitted the stereotypical definition of beauty and lord knows I am tired of doing the diets and following the fashion trends only to cry tears of frustration.... It's absolutely normal to see the beauty in others while not doing soo in yourself.... Self-acceptance lies at the end of a long road that I think we are all going to have to take. It will be hard at times & lord knows sometimes it seems like it's just easier to put ourselves down & ignore the beauty that is reflected back to us in the mirror every day. But know this ladies... Beauty starts on the inside... cause beauty is not only exterior but interior. That Outer beauty that everyone else sees is only skin deep. I’m sure we’ve all heard this from our mother/sister/friend before & you'll hear it again but that's only because it's true. Love yourself girl!. You deserve to be just as in love with yourself as some next man or woman is or will be in the future. Besides since when has Barbie looked all that good? She may be "perfect" but she can’t talk, walk, live, dream, imagine, or....be as affectionate & beautifully human as you we are.

Keep your head up and learn to Love every curve, every freckle, mole, flaw and Perfection that is you.

Introduction please..

I know that things come from nothing very much, and start from unpromising beginnings. And I am an unpromising beginning, and I can start something. And this blog is going to be my start of something. It will contain my ramblings and when I say ramblings I don’t mean incoherent nonsense of complete irrelevance but a string of thoughts and opinions inspired by day to day issues that frustrate and inspire me. This blog will contain my social commentary and aims to not offend or insult but merely reflect my personal opinions and I encourage anyone who reads to respond honestly. What first inspired me to write a blog was that I felt that as a single black female in the world today I have a voice and opinion that I want to be expressed!

So let the rambling begin.